Archive for the ‘John’ Tag

Fantastic Four #14: Reed is a Pig! or A Fish for Every Need!   1 comment

FANTASTIC FOUR #14

Script: Stan Lee

Art: Jack Kirby

Inking: Dick Ayers

Lettering; Art Simek

SYNOPSIS:

After defeating The Red Ghost and hi Super-Apes last issue, the FF are returning to Earth. They are first humans to make a round trip to the Moon and are expecting a heroes welcome when they return. As the FF land the space ship, they see a huge mob of reporters and on-lookers gathered to witness the landing, which is being broadcast to TV stations around the entire globe.

When The Fantastic four emerge from the plane, they are met by throngs of fans, reporters and people looking to make a quick buck. Reed is grabbed by two rival factions of the Mr. Fantastic Fan Club, who are swooning over the handsome scientist/super-hero. Ben Grimm sees a promoter who is challenging Ben to take on his wrestler in a match, a challenge Ben answers in his usual fashion: he grabs the wrestler by the legs and dumps in head first into a garbage can. Sue is offered both a lifetime Hollywood contract and the chance to endorse a deodorant on TV.

For some reason, nobody seems too interested in Johnny and he uses the opportunity to try out a new trick. He flies around in a circle faster and faster, making a current of air that sucks up his teammates and flies them to the top of their skyscraper headquarters. Back inside, the four are happy to be home, when they have this glorious exchange:

Sue: Hmmm, I think I better do a little house cleaning!

Reed: Just so long as you do it silently!

This male chauvinist pig is the guy all those teenage women were fawning over two pages earlier? the Marvel universe was a very special place in the 1960s. And Reed actually wonders why Sue won’t choose him over Namor?

After this incident, Reed goes looking for Sue. Is it to apologize for talking to her as if she were an abused orphan child in a Charles Dickens novel? Of course not! Reed needs her to do some typing for him! Reed finds her looking at the ocean floor on TV, searching for Namor. Reed wishes the FF would find Namor again so they could settle their differences once and for all, then wanders off, leaving Sue to do his typing for him while he thinks about how wonderful he is and how he can do anything he sets his mind to…..except win the heart of the woman he loves. I swear I am not making this up. This is what happens in the story.

Our story then shifts to a local sanitarium, where a mysterious man is being released. The official at the looney bin says the man is cured and can be released. The man replies that he has been cured for months, but he is staying at the sanitarium so the world can forget him, something that other people would not understand. Which is clearly an indication that this man is not, in fact, sane and should not be released into society. Of course, this being the wacky Marvel U, nobody thinks this answer is strange and the man walks out, revealing himself to be the Puppet Master. PM is ready to seek revenge on the FF and he will use the Sub-Mariner to do it.

Namor is swimming under the sea, looking for clues as to the whereabouts of his lost people. He finds some evidence of their existence, but he is overtaken by the Puppet Master before he can investigate further. Namor uses his “Mento-Fish” to send his thoughts to Sue Storm, pleading with her to come to meet him. Sue receives the message telepathically and takes off, making sure she isn’t seen by her male teammates in the Fantastic Four. Sue finds Namor on a pier, where he uses a “hypno-fish” to hypnotize Sue. The fish then encases her in an air bubble and Namor brings him under the ocean to his aquatic home.

Back at the Baxter Building, Reed is testing the limits of Ben’s strength, while Johnny screws around with them. Namor suddenly appears and Torch attacks him, flying straight through him. Reed informs them that one of Namor’s powers is the ability to project a holographic image of himself using his Atlantean undersea technology. Namor informs the FF that he has Sue held captive and he dares them to come and get her. The FF check to see if Sue is around, as they never notice her absence until they need the ironing done or something, and find out she is gone. This causes the FF to launch into action as the Puppet Master, in a Navy surplus sub, gloats about his master plan.

Before they leave, the FF make plans in case they don’t return. Reed and Johnny go to leave the keys to their secret files with the police commissioner while Ben goes to say goodbye to Alicia. Alicia is terrified about the FF going to fight Namor, especially in his undersea domain. Ben, feeling horrible that he made his girlfriend cry, decides to take her with them. Naturally, if I was going to fight my most powerful opponent in the environment where was at his strongest, I would bring my blind girlfriend with me too.

The FF and Alicia hop into a undersea vehicle they borrowed from a Navy Admiral and head to the ocean floor, looking for Namor. They have no clue where he is, so they just randomly explore the deepest parts of the ocean, hoping to stumble upon him. Because it’s not like the ocean is that big or anything.

They must be getting close to Namor’s undersea home, as they are suddenly attacked by super powered porcupine fish that shoot needles at them, followed by something causing an undersea tornado. The escape that only to be swallowed a gigantic undersea clam, which gives off chloroform vapors that put the FF and Alicia to sleep.

They awake in Namor’s undersea fortress, where Namor declares they are his prisoners. Reed boasts that they were not taken prisoner, but instead finally succeeded in tracking down Namor. I’m sure that bing knocked unconscious by a giant, chloroform emitting clam was all part of Reed’s master plan.

namor shows the FF that he has Sue encased in a giant air bubble, which is being assaulted by the mightiest giant octopus in the seven seas. Then, for the first time in this issue, Reed says something that actually doesn’t make him sound like either a male chauvinist pig or a total moron. He realizes that Namor actually loves Sue and would never willingly put her in that much danger. Something must be wrong here.

The insanity continues as the FF do battle with Namor, who uses various fish as weapons. He uses a flame eating fish in the shape of a two pronged battle club to beat up the Human Torch. When The Thing joins the fray, Namor first attacks him with a giant razor sharp needle fish, then throws some undersea fungus at him, which expands and hardens, trapping Ben in a giant stone like ball. Thing uses his super strength to burst free, much to Namor’s surprise.

Reed decides he will take on Namor one on one while Ben goes to rescue Sue. Reed uses his stretchy body to trap the Sub-Mariner in an elastic cage. Meanwhile, Thing jumps into the watery tank and attacks the octopus, tossing him out of the cage. He also talks a lot of trash, using his before now unrevealed power to speak underwater. Ben then rescues Sue and mentions how happy he is she hasn’t made a sound during the ordeal, observing he has never met a woman who could keep her mouth closed this long. Women’s Lib was probably started because of Stan Lee dialogue.

The Puppet Master is unhappy with how the fight is going and decides he needs to intervene. Puppet Master orders Namor to kill the FF. Namor takes his ultimate weapon, a fish that is shaped like the barrel of a Gatling gun and releases a gas that no living thing can withstand. How he plans on surviving this is something he doesn’t appear to give much thought to. Alicia senses another presence, a mental controlling power, like that of her step-father. Reed realizes that would explain everything and tries to reason with Namor, and Sub-Mariner struggles with the mental control he is under.

Namor fails an releases the deadly gas, but Reed was prepared and covers everyone face with “Flex-O-Gen” plastic sheeting. I don’t know what that is or why reed didn’t sell it to the US military for millions of dollars. I think he secretly likes to reveal his greatest inventions only in dramatic situations.

Meanwhile, as the FF attack Namor while Sue begs them not to, the giant octopus that ben flung to the ceiling crashes through the dome and into the ocean. The octopus, angry at being hurled across a high tech death palace and into the ocean, attacks the first thing it sees, which is the Puppet Master’s submarine. PM tries to control the octopus, using his clay to make a puppet of the octopus. ┬áHe is forced to use the clay that comprises the Namor puppet, as he only has seconds to make the puppet. Namor is freed from the PM’s control, but it was al for naught, as Puppet Master can not control the mind of a creature that is almost mindless. The octopus assaults the sub as Namor comes to his senses.

Sub-Mariner has no memory of what happened, but he is hoping Sue has come to share his undersea kingdom with him. Sue says her loyalty is with Reed, but her heart may one day belong to Namor. With the incident over, Namor has no desire to fight the FF. He only wants to continue his search for his missing race of “Sub-Mariners.” the FF leave the undersea domain, wondering if Namor will ever be their friend and if the Puppet Master was really behind this altercation.

COMMENTS:

This issue continues the recurring theme of Reed being, to put it bluntly, a real piece of shit. Seriously, this guy is a grade A asshole. He tells Sue if she cleans the house, she should do it quietly so as not to disturb him. Next time he goes to see her, is it to apologize? No, it’s to have her type up his report to NASA about his new rocket fuel. He berates her, gives her menial secretarial chores to do, then goes off to wonder why she doesn’t love him completely.

This issue brings forth some classic Lee/Kirby FF wackiness. The Hypno-fish and Mento-Fish are beyond strange. the gigantic clam that emits chloroform vapors is so strange I don’t even know what to say about it.

It’s nice to see The Puppet Master return, as he was a great villain and a lot of fun. Also, since Alicia has become a regular supporting character as Ben’s girlfriend, there is a nice added layer of Puppet Master being Alicia’s step-father. It makes him part super-villain, part evil pseudo-family member.

I also really like Namor back as the villain. It’s very surprising to me how Namor, and not Dr. Doom, seems to be the FF’s primary opponent. He’s a really great foil for them, as not only is he physically a match for the entire team in a fight, the Reed-Sue-Namor love triangle always makes for interesting drama. At this point in the history of the Fantastic Four, I find Namor to be, by far, their most interesting opponent. He isn’t evil, he is a confused monarch without a kingdom, looking for the rest of his people and blaming the surface world for their disappearance. His motivations are far more complex than the usual super-villain fare, and his fight scenes are always wacky fun.

Another small thing I like about this story is that while the readers know the Puppet Master was behind it all, Namor and the FF have no idea if it was really him or not. They thought he was dead after their last altercation with him. Now, they do not know if he has returned, or if their is some new menace that orchestrated events. It’s a nice little touch.